Pinched

From Velocity Weekly, Nov. 19, 2008

It seemed like a typical Monday.

Mariam Williams had just started her day at Main Line Broadcasting in Louisville, where she worked as a copy writer and research director.

“I had just written about three lines of a new commercial when my supervisor called me down,” Williams said.

It was about 9:30 a.m. on Oct. 13. Williams had been laid off.

And she wasn't alone. Last month, Main Line let go of several Louisville employees, including B96 radio personality J.C. White and the entire on-air staff at the rock station WLRS.

Meanwhile, local businesses have closed their doors as other companies continue to downsize amid a stream of discouraging reports from the number crunchers. Many economists believe the U.S. is headed for a recession — if we aren't in one already.

The signs are there.

In September, the U.S. economy lost 159,000 jobs, the biggest monthly drop in five years. Kentucky's estimated unemployment rate rose to 7.1 percent, up from 5.4 percent in September 2007.

But as bank bailouts and Wall Street meltdowns make the news, local 20- and 30-somethings don't need headlines to tell them things are bad. From lay-offs to failed businesses to home foreclosure, many young adults in the Louisville area are living the harsh reality of the nation's economic downturn.

(Click here for entire story)

So I got hit by a car

And, of course, I wrote a column about it.

Finding inspiration in a tragic life

From Velocity Weekly, Oct. 7, 2008

Late last fall, my husband left town for two weeks and I ended up spending all of my free time in bed with a mysterious woman. But not in the way you may be thinking.

It all started at the library. Catalog number in hand, I was in the biography section searching for a memoir I planned to read while my husband was away. I found it and was about to leave when the title "Girl on Fire" caught my eye. I pulled the thick, heavy book down from the shelf, and there she was -- Edie Sedgwick.

Click here to read more.

Our curls are a part of who we are

From Velocity Weekly, Sept. 23, 2008

When you see a curly-haired woman getting a makeover on TV, more often than not, by the end of the show her hair will be straight. When Anne Hathaway's character in "The Princess Diaries" needed to be transformed into royalty, her wavy locks went straight. And in the new movie "The Women," we know that Meg Ryan's character has finally pulled it all together again when she emerges with her big blond curls smoothed out.

In the New York Observer article published earlier this month, "Curl, Interrupted: Do Curly Coifs Equal Frazzled Psyches," Sara Vilkomerson explores Hollywood's tendency to straighten out a female character's hair to show that she's straighten out her life.

When Vilkomerson chatted with Jonathan Hanousek, a celebrity stylist who was in charge of Ryan's locks throughout the filming of "The Women," he said Ryan's curls were meant to show that her character was "earthy" and that she didn't care much about her appearance.

As a curly girl, I don't care if you think I'm earthy, but if you think I don't care much about my appearance, then have a talk with my husband who has watched me change clothes four times before leaving the house.

I was 21 before I decided to wear my hair in its naturally curly state, and once I did, everyone had something to say. While most folks love it, many don't. And the few times a year I rock my mane straight, I'm inundated with questions like, "Why don't you wear your straight all the time?" Don't get me wrong. A woman should wear her hair however she wants, and if you prefer straight hair, that's fine. You like what you like. But it would be great if hairstylists, Hollywood and our pals would stop giving us curly girls a complex.

I know what some of you are thinking. But it's just hair. Or is it?

Click here to read more.

A Fall of Firsts

This week in my Write Out Loud column I confessed that, despite its beautiful foliage, fall depresses the crap out of me. I do like how Mother Nature gets all dressed up this time of year, but unfortunately I see autumn as nothing but a welcome mat to winter. And I, being Alabama born and bred, despise cold weather. So in an effort to keep me from being a grumpy face all season I'm going to make like blogger Jen MacNeil and do one new thing each of the 90 days of fall.

But I don't think I can think of 90 firsts on my own. So I need your help. Some readers of my column have already offered a few suggestions, such as trying an art class, taking a flamenco dance lesson and going to Hobby Lobby to find a new crafty project to pursue. But I still need more ideas and I need them before Sept. 22, which is the first day of fall.

I want to fall in love with an album I never knew existed, try some new food, pick up a new hobby and much more.

So tell me about your favorite restaurants, hobbies, bands, etc. Tell me about stupid stuff you've done that you're so glad you tried and community service projects that made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Oh, and as I said in my column, buying something I've never owned before counts too, so if you find a cute, but cheap skirt that you think would look great on me, hit me up.

As a way to thank you for being my muse, I'll share updates of my 90-day adventure on my Velocity blog in hopes of inspiring you to try something new this fall too.

Get connected

Be sure to check out my Write Out Loud column in this week's issue of Velocity and learn all about OnyxLouisville.com, an entertainment and networking site for young urban professionals in Louisville. The site is run by Michelle Yeager, a true woman about town, who's always in the know.At OnyxLouisville.com you can find out about hip-hop parties, R&B concerts, black arts events and more. The site features profiles of local young professionals and includes black history facts, celebrity news and community announcements.Yeager said she's determined to show local young adults that Louisville really is a cool place to be.

Movin' on up

In addition to writing for Velocity Weekly, I am now also writing stories for the Features section of Velocity's parent publication, The Courier-Journal, which is the major daily newspaper for Louisville, Ky., and surrounding areas.

Check out my story "Louisville planners know how to party" in the Sunday, Aug. 24 edition of The Courier-Journal.

The beats go on

On Feb. 25, the music industry lost one of its most successful R&B songwriters when Louisville native Stephen Garrett, aka Static, aka Static/Major, died at age 33.

Static was well-known as a member of the R&B trio Playa, but within the music industry, he was known as the mastermind behind some of this generation's greatest songs.

Though I didn't know it back then, Static literally wrote the soundtrack to my teen years. Songs like Ginuwine's "Pony" and "So Anxious," Playa's hit "Cheers 2 U" and Aaliyah's "Are You That Somebody" and "Try Again" bring back so many high school memories for me -- and they were all penned by Static.

I never met Static, but I spent this summer talking to his friends and family members who miss his smile and people in the music industry who regard him as a genius.

I share their memories of Static in the story "The Beats Go On" in this week's issue of Velocity. The story can be found online on Louisville's new Metromix site. Click here to check it out.

I Heart Louisville...

and so does photographer Leslie Lyons. Read all about Lyons and her website I Live in Louisville in my Write Out Loud column in this week's issue of Velocity.

A bittersweet week

I was on vacation last week and my husband and I traveled to Virginia to visit his family and friends. I had a chance to tour museums and a famous battleship with my mother-in-law and I finally started a book I've been toting around all summer. I ate too much and beat my high score on the Bejeweled game on my cell phone. I also went to Virginia Beach where my husband and I played in the ocean like kids and both picked up some sexy chocolate tans.

But while I was away I also heard news of the deaths of comedian and actor Bernie Mac and soul legend Isaac Hayes. A young woman at my husband's former church in Virginia died of cancer last week as well. My week was a bittersweet one as I was reminded of our mortality day after day.

But sitting around worrying about death won't keep us or our loved ones on this earth any longer. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell you to live each day as if it were your last. I'm sure most of us wouldn't spend our last day on earth at work but you have to go anyway just in case it's not your last day after all. So instead I'll just say to live and love like you mean it. Try to make each moment as good as it can get, because in the end that's really all we can do.

My Sister's Keeper

On Saturday night I was a guest speaker at My Sister's Keeper, a local weekend retreat for Louisville area middle and high school girls founded this year. The theme of the weekend was "Happy With Me" and the activities for the girls ranged from hip-hop aerobics sessions and self-defense classes to girl talk time. The weekend was designed to help build the girls' confidence but the retreat was also meant to be fun. And on Saturday night it was up to me to keep the party going.

Going along with the theme, my talk was called "How I Learned To Be Happy with Me." I spoke with the girls about how I managed to love my body and my looks despite my big hair and small boobs and how I dealt with boys who tried to pressure me into sex when I was their age. I told them I was a nerd and tried my best to convince them that they should be one too. I think it may have even worked.

Later that night, girls gave me hugs, asked for my business card and said things like, "You really inspired me," and I wanted to cry. But they have no idea how much the night inspired me.

After my talk, the girls, volunteers and I all sat in a circle and many of the girls shared heartbreaking stories of the things they're dealing with or have dealt with at home, including parents struggling with drug addictions and mental illnesses. But despite all this these girls were so kind to one another, they were so positive and they were so determined to go to college and pursue their dreams. I was blown away by their strength.

Furthermore, I was inspired by Mandi Mohammed, the founder of My Sister's Keeper. This stay-at-mom could have easily stuck to just caring for her own children, which I'm sure is taxing enough. But instead she decided to reach out to other girls in need with this program, a program I am certain changed lives this weekend.

Beach babe

Check out my latest Write Out Loud column in this week's issue of Velocity Weekly to find out why bikini season makes me do stupid things.

Distinguished professional?

I spent the past few days at my alma mater, the University of Alabama, helping out with its Multicultural Journalism Workshop, an annual summer program for high school students interested in journalism. During the weekend I also received a "Distinguished Professional" award from the organization. Frankly, I don't feel like a distinguished anything, but I felt honored.

Many of the young people I spoke with this weekend said I really encouraged them to pursue their dreams and find their voice as a writer. And as I thumbed through issues of Velocity Weekly with a few of them their eyes lit up and they squealed, "Omigod, this is so cool!" That's when I remembered that I do have a pretty awesome job and maybe I'm a "distinguished professional" after all.

To be or not to be... a mom

Check out my latest "Write Out Loud" column in Velocity Weekly. Here's an excerpt:


Being a parent, a good parent, has to be the toughest job there is. Because motherhood can be so consuming, I am terrified that after becoming a parent I will either completely lose myself and start living through my child (obviously bad for both me and the little one) -- or that I will fight so hard to maintain my identity that I will end up being negligent. I want to trust that I'll be smart and mature enough to find the proper balance, but I'm skeptical. I've been told I can raise a child and still become the world renowned writer I dream of being. But I'm not sure how I can "have it all" and still have time to shower.

Is Soulja Boy killing hip-hop?

In an interview on a recently released mixtape rap veteran Ice T says that rap newcomer Soulja Boy has "single handedly killed hip-hop." (In case you've been in a coma for the past year, Soulja Boy is the entertainer behind the ubiquitous song "Crank Dat" and the wildly popular dance known as the Superman.)

If I posted Ice T's exact words I'd get fired due to the colorful language used. But the gist is Ice T feels Soulja Boy's lyrics are "garbage" and a disgrace to hip-hop pioneers. Since this diss, Ice T and Soulja Boy have been going back and forth at each other via video blogs and recently Kanye West stepped in and took a side...

Click here to read the complete post on my VelocityWeekly.com blog. While you're over there feel free to weigh in on the Ice T vs. Soulja Boy beef. I also want to know what real hip-hop is to you.

In Memory of Andrea Coller

In the June 2008 issue of Glamour magazine readers were introduced to Andrea Coller, a young hairstylist/musician/shopgirl who won Glamour’s fifth essay contest with a fierce, funny and touching story of her battle with cancer. In the July issue, however, we learned that just as the essay was hitting newsstands, Coller died of complications from her Hodgkin’s lymphoma.
Coller’s essay, titled “I want my life back,” didn’t paint a picture of a suffering saint. She was a live-out-loud kind of girl who was mad as hell that cancer was trying to steal her spunk.

Coller’s best friend Meredith told Glamour, “She put her soul out into the world despite her struggles, wrote things heartbreaking and hilarious and lived like she meant.”

Editor-in-chief Cindi Leive said this of Coller’s essay: “It’s an amazing reminder that you can’t make life longer, but you can make it deeper. ”

These statements have stuck with me. Am I living like I mean it? Am I committed to, each day, making my life deeper, richer and fuller than it was the day before?

The truth is, no. I’m not. And that’s a shame. I have no excuse. But in honor of Andrea Coller and all other young women who have been robbed of their lives by cancer, Lupus and other illnesses, I’m making a promise to myself that from now on I will enjoy today like there is no tomorrow. I hope you’ll do the same.

Click here to read Coller’s Glamour essay.

(Crossposted on my Skirt! blog.)

How to Have a Happy Vagina

This week for my Write Out Loud column in Velocity Weekly I interviewed Dr. Katharine O'Connell, an assistant clinical professor of OB/GYN at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City and a blogger for dailybedpost.com. We chatted about vaginal health issues and how to have better sex. She gave me so much great information I had to save some for my Velocity Weekly blog. Whether you have a vagina or not, I think the column and blog post are worth a read. Check them out!

What you've been missing

If you haven’t visited my Velocity blog lately, head over to join the discussion on the Sex and the City movie, to find out about my latest attempt to save the world, to meet Miss Black Kentucky and to share your money management tips.

The Life of a Beauty Queen

Check out my latest "Write Out Loud" column in this week's issue of Velocity Weekly. In it I profile Miss Black Kentucky Shenita McConis, who is hoping to snag the Miss Black USA crown later this month. If you have a down-with-pageants attitude that's even more reason you should read it. McConis is certainly not your stereotypical beauty queen.

Write on,
j.

Shameless self-promotion

This new blog is my special little place in cyberworld where I will unabashedly promote and market myself and my writing.

I am a fulltime journalist, essayist and blogger. To get familiar with my work check out any of the websites and blogs in my links list. And check back here regularly for excerpts from recent articles and any exciting updates in my life as a woman writer.


Writeously yours,
j.